Today we complete your toolbox with the final tool to help you on your journey to realizing your goals and aspirations with confidence!

Tool #3: Track Your Progress!

Journal writing is one of the best tools for organizing mental clutter, by capturing thoughts and emotions in writing. After my mentor’s wife of 53 years passed away, he began documenting their life together and the “Why?” behind her early demise. “When I finished writing this book,” he said, “I knew I was ready to move forward. I was healed.”

You can create different journals for different parts of your journey. One may be for personal healing and insight, while another may be an “idea journal” reserved for capturing inspiration.

How do you use an idea journal? Keep a small notebook in your purse or pocket and jot down your ideas throughout the day. Often during quiet moments of reflection, you’ll find your written ideas weave an interesting tapestry.

Early morning is another vital time for journaling your thoughts! Keep a notepad by your bed—I like to call mine my morning ‘think-pad.’ Glean these early thoughts before a child or a morning hello interrupts your clarity. Never minimize the importance of capturing these early thoughts! Your heart and mind are working while you sleep, planning life’s journey! Start each day with your idea journal, capturing your morning revelation.

If you need to simplify, an electronic journal, cellphone or voice recorder can help you record your fresh ideas and the answers to your soul-searching questions!

Forgiveness has both a horizontal and a vertical aspect. Horizontal forgiveness releases us from judgments that bind us to unhealthy relationships. It is the gatekeeper to the unforgiving spirit. As long as we are alive, we will encounter hurt and disappointment. What we do with this disappointment will determine our future.

Vertical forgiveness begins at the heart of God and extends directly to our hearts. It is a supernatural force of divine love that has the power to lift every burden. God’s forgiveness can lift our perspective of our relationships and ourselves. It can cause us to rise above every offense and see things from a heavenly perspective.

Are you troubled in spirit? Right now reach out for God’s divine forgiveness and discover a new liberty and freedom in Him! You can be free, happy and loosed from the chains of an unforgiving spirit!

As a young person, I faced relentless teasing for my size, name and abilities. No one seemed to understand, not even my mother. I remember her saying to me, “Leslie you are beautiful and gifted, what are you so upset about? Straighten up!” Those words, although intended to bring peace, only drove my shame deeper and placed an unseen wedge in my heart.

Several years later I realized that whenever I was in my mother’s house, we would automatically disagree and sometimes argue. There was no one else in the world I loved more at that time and yet we could not dwell in peace. I wanted help. My friend suggested that I ask God to forgive me for judging my mother and, if possible, seek my mother’s forgiveness. When I asked my mother to forgive me for not being the daughter I should have been, I remember her response. She said, “Leslie, you’re my daughter. Forgive you for what? I love you!”

My mother had no memory of any wrong, which is often the case, and the reason we must learn to guard our hearts. Because as the Proverb says, the issues of life flow out of the heart. My release did not come in knowing that my mother understood. My release came when I understood I was forgiven by God and I had forgiven both my mother and myself.

Have you ever considered the dominant role an unforgiving spirit can play in your life? You might wonder, what is an unforgiving spirit?

Virginia Whitman relates an incident that occurred several years ago at Fairfax Airport in Kansas City, where workers were constructing a proposed electrically ‘perfect’ room.  This room was designed to provide technicians a work environment free of any electrical interference.  To make this possible, special construction techniques were employed. When the job was complete, however, a special electronic “reading” revealed a small amount of electrical conduction.  After hours of searching, testing, and measuring, the trouble was discovered.  The culprit was the lead pencil marks on the lumber used by the carpenters.

What is an unforgiving spirit?  It is the unseen pencil mark on the soul, breaking our connections with other people and affecting all of our relationships.  Initially difficult to identify, an unforgiving spirit is developed over time, due to an inability to deal properly with shame, offenses, and even a pain suffered.

Is there a door to the heart that is the source of an unforgiving spirit?  The seeds of an unforgiving spirit are planted when we are wronged in some way.  Often, the first hurt we experience may begin as a child; unknowingly inflicted by those we love the most.

Today I am sharing the last two tips that will help you take control of your thoughts and attitudes: 

Third, Overcome Unrealistic Expectations.  Do you avoid reality? Are you so busy talking the “big idea” that you’ve forgotten to address life’s daily routines? I believe in the power of a positive attitude. But I also know a positive attitude does not deny reality, it simply gives us the ability to deal with reality!

Remember: Unfulfilled expectations are a leading cause of discouragement!  True personal success is found when expectation meets accomplishment! Proverbs 13:12 says, “a fulfilled desire is a tree of life!” Ask yourself: Are my expectations realistic? If not, evaluate and revise your plans!

Fourth, Learn to Laugh At Yourself!  Don’t take yourself too seriously! While you’re developing the strategy for humanity’s next great invention, take some time and laugh! Laughter has the ability to reduce stress and provide a feeling of wellness.  Laughter helps boost self-confidence. It encourages healthy relationships and eliminates feelings of aggression, jealousy and antagonism.

My husband is a natural comedian! Or so he thinks—we often get the most enjoyment watching him laugh at his own jokes! Enjoy life! Become your own comedian and learn to smile at your mistakes!  If you have trouble laughing at yourself, take some time and watch children! They laugh at everything! Or simply buy a joke book and laugh at someone else! 

The point? Start laughing! It will do you good!

If you have any unforgiveness in your heart, or if you’ve been unable to forgive yourself, right now you can pray this with me: “Jesus I ask You to take the pain that is in my heart. Help me forgive the people who have violated me. Forgive me Lord for those whom I have violated. I ask You right now to forgive me and to cleanse me and to come into my heart to help my emotions, bring Your divine love to my heart today. Release me from my sin and restore my hope.”

If you prayed this prayer I want you to know your heart has been opened to the love of God, and He will be that healing salve that you need when you face tragedy and unforgiveness.

Go to my website today, www.LeslieMcNulty.com and look for our resources. You can find new hope for new life today and resources that will strengthen you on your course to recovery.

Today we will look at the first two steps toward discovering emotional forgiveness.

Step #1 requires you to RECALL the events and hurt as accurately and objectively as possible. I would liken this to accurate thinking—using our minds, not our emotions, to correctly understand and evaluate.

We don’t need to recall the event just to remember we are a victim or to punish the aggressor with our words. We recall to gain perspective. We can use our intellect to control our emotions, allowing us to control our actions and, ultimately, forgive.

The Bible tells us to “Bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Objectively taking our thoughts captive allows us the power to move forward.

Step # 2 is to EMPATHIZE. Try to understand what happened from the point of view of the person who wronged you. No one would suggest that this is easy, but by considering the motivations or short-comings of the other person, we may be able to replace negative emotions with positive emotions.

Dostoyevsky states, “Nothing is easier than to condemn the evildoer, nothing is harder than to understand him.”

Empathy is the process of putting yourself in the other person’s chair. Worthington, by looking at his mother’s killer as young, reactionary, and out of control, was better able to understand his mother’s senseless tragedy.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Psychologist Everett Worthington is an author and a specialist on instructing people in REACH, a 5 step process for forgiveness.

Worthington knows something about forgiveness. He experienced the unthinkable when his 78-year-old mother was sexually violated and beaten to death with a crowbar. According to an article published by WWBT in Richmond, Virginia, Worthington states that “this was a particularly horrific scene. One that I just never will forget.”

Adding to his difficulties, Worthington’s brother could not get the image of his mother’s death out of his head, and a few years later he committed suicide. Worthington says not only did he need to forgive his mother’s killer, he also had to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother!

Although I am not a psychologist, I have seen marriages that were broken by infidelity, restored through forgiveness. I have witnessed criminals find self-forgiveness and the ability to move forward in life, and I have seen the abused released from the horrors of cruelty through forgiveness.

Worthington writes in his book, “Forgiveness and Reconciliation” that he was able to forgive the youths that committed the horrible crime against his mother in just over 30 hours. How? By working through his 5-Step Process which I will outline for you over the next two days.

Terri Roberts was sitting on the patio when she heard sirens and helicopters in the distance. As she normally did when she heard the sirens, Terri prayed for the responders, finished her lunch and returned to work. Moments later she received a phone call from her husband. Come to Charlie’s house now.

Driving to her 32 year old son’s house she heard the report of 10 girls shot in the nearby Amish school. When Terri arrived at the house, she saw her husband speaking to a state trooper. Her first question…is Charlie alive? NO.

It was October 2, 2006, Terri’s son had just shot 10 Amish school girls and then took his own life. Five of the girls were dead, five injured and one would forever be a paraplegic. Bitter at God over his wife’s miscarriage, Terri’s son had directed his rage towards these young girls.

What goes through the mind of a mother who finds their child responsible for such a tragedy? How would you react?

Terri went home later that day and collapsed into a fetal position. Her husband buried his head in a towel crying so hard that he injured the skin on his face!

Something happened that night in the Roberts’ home. An Amish neighbor came over to offer his love and comfort. Terri witnessed this “Angel Dressed in Black”—the Amish are known for their customary black clothing—consoling her husband. Their visitor reassuringly said, ‘Roberts, we love you,’ and immediately she knew that her husband would heal.

Bernard Meltzer says, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”

That night Terri Roberts and her husband were introduced to the greatest gift imaginable—forgiveness—the power to live another day!

In 2006 we were conducting meetings in Puerto Rico. One particular medical doctor noticed that his patients were being healed and took great interest in the miracles. Even though he was initially skeptical, he realized our emphasis on people connecting with Jesus would bring freedom from stress, and often people didn’t even recognize they were healed!  God’s peace had entered their spirit, soul and bodies, and with His presence came healing.

This doctor told us that of the female patients he treats, many convince themselves that they are sick. Interestingly, often when running the required tests to identify a problem, he finds nothing. Yet in a matter of a few weeks or months, the same patients will return with evidence of the illnesses they were convinced already existed.

Research shows that DNA actually changes shape according to our thoughts. As you think negative thoughts, toxic thinking re-wires your brain in a negative direction, forcing your mind and body into stress.  On the contrary, every positive thought releases life-giving chemicals.  Imagine what the brain does when you smell a rose or look at a beautiful picture, or when you read the word of God! Jesus is called the “Prince of Peace,” and when an individual receives His life into their spirit His presence fills them—often driving out sicknesses and disease.