Have you ever considered the dominant role an unforgiving spirit can play in your life? You might wonder, what is an unforgiving spirit?

Virginia Whitman relates an incident that occurred several years ago at Fairfax Airport in Kansas City, where workers were constructing a proposed electrically ‘perfect’ room.  This room was designed to provide technicians a work environment free of any electrical interference.  To make this possible, special construction techniques were employed. When the job was complete, however, a special electronic “reading” revealed a small amount of electrical conduction.  After hours of searching, testing, and measuring, the trouble was discovered.  The culprit was the lead pencil marks on the lumber used by the carpenters.

What is an unforgiving spirit?  It is the unseen pencil mark on the soul, breaking our connections with other people and affecting all of our relationships.  Initially difficult to identify, an unforgiving spirit is developed over time, due to an inability to deal properly with shame, offenses, and even a pain suffered.

Is there a door to the heart that is the source of an unforgiving spirit?  The seeds of an unforgiving spirit are planted when we are wronged in some way.  Often, the first hurt we experience may begin as a child; unknowingly inflicted by those we love the most.

Today I am sharing the last two tips that will help you take control of your thoughts and attitudes: 

Third, Overcome Unrealistic Expectations.  Do you avoid reality? Are you so busy talking the “big idea” that you’ve forgotten to address life’s daily routines? I believe in the power of a positive attitude. But I also know a positive attitude does not deny reality, it simply gives us the ability to deal with reality!

Remember: Unfulfilled expectations are a leading cause of discouragement!  True personal success is found when expectation meets accomplishment! Proverbs 13:12 says, “a fulfilled desire is a tree of life!” Ask yourself: Are my expectations realistic? If not, evaluate and revise your plans!

Fourth, Learn to Laugh At Yourself!  Don’t take yourself too seriously! While you’re developing the strategy for humanity’s next great invention, take some time and laugh! Laughter has the ability to reduce stress and provide a feeling of wellness.  Laughter helps boost self-confidence. It encourages healthy relationships and eliminates feelings of aggression, jealousy and antagonism.

My husband is a natural comedian! Or so he thinks—we often get the most enjoyment watching him laugh at his own jokes! Enjoy life! Become your own comedian and learn to smile at your mistakes!  If you have trouble laughing at yourself, take some time and watch children! They laugh at everything! Or simply buy a joke book and laugh at someone else! 

The point? Start laughing! It will do you good!

If you have any unforgiveness in your heart, or if you’ve been unable to forgive yourself, right now you can pray this with me: “Jesus I ask You to take the pain that is in my heart. Help me forgive the people who have violated me. Forgive me Lord for those whom I have violated. I ask You right now to forgive me and to cleanse me and to come into my heart to help my emotions, bring Your divine love to my heart today. Release me from my sin and restore my hope.”

If you prayed this prayer I want you to know your heart has been opened to the love of God, and He will be that healing salve that you need when you face tragedy and unforgiveness.

Go to my website today, www.LeslieMcNulty.com and look for our resources. You can find new hope for new life today and resources that will strengthen you on your course to recovery.

Today we will look at the first two steps toward discovering emotional forgiveness.

Step #1 requires you to RECALL the events and hurt as accurately and objectively as possible. I would liken this to accurate thinking—using our minds, not our emotions, to correctly understand and evaluate.

We don’t need to recall the event just to remember we are a victim or to punish the aggressor with our words. We recall to gain perspective. We can use our intellect to control our emotions, allowing us to control our actions and, ultimately, forgive.

The Bible tells us to “Bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Objectively taking our thoughts captive allows us the power to move forward.

Step # 2 is to EMPATHIZE. Try to understand what happened from the point of view of the person who wronged you. No one would suggest that this is easy, but by considering the motivations or short-comings of the other person, we may be able to replace negative emotions with positive emotions.

Dostoyevsky states, “Nothing is easier than to condemn the evildoer, nothing is harder than to understand him.”

Empathy is the process of putting yourself in the other person’s chair. Worthington, by looking at his mother’s killer as young, reactionary, and out of control, was better able to understand his mother’s senseless tragedy.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Psychologist Everett Worthington is an author and a specialist on instructing people in REACH, a 5 step process for forgiveness.

Worthington knows something about forgiveness. He experienced the unthinkable when his 78-year-old mother was sexually violated and beaten to death with a crowbar. According to an article published by WWBT in Richmond, Virginia, Worthington states that “this was a particularly horrific scene. One that I just never will forget.”

Adding to his difficulties, Worthington’s brother could not get the image of his mother’s death out of his head, and a few years later he committed suicide. Worthington says not only did he need to forgive his mother’s killer, he also had to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother!

Although I am not a psychologist, I have seen marriages that were broken by infidelity, restored through forgiveness. I have witnessed criminals find self-forgiveness and the ability to move forward in life, and I have seen the abused released from the horrors of cruelty through forgiveness.

Worthington writes in his book, “Forgiveness and Reconciliation” that he was able to forgive the youths that committed the horrible crime against his mother in just over 30 hours. How? By working through his 5-Step Process which I will outline for you over the next two days.

Terri Roberts was sitting on the patio when she heard sirens and helicopters in the distance. As she normally did when she heard the sirens, Terri prayed for the responders, finished her lunch and returned to work. Moments later she received a phone call from her husband. Come to Charlie’s house now.

Driving to her 32 year old son’s house she heard the report of 10 girls shot in the nearby Amish school. When Terri arrived at the house, she saw her husband speaking to a state trooper. Her first question…is Charlie alive? NO.

It was October 2, 2006, Terri’s son had just shot 10 Amish school girls and then took his own life. Five of the girls were dead, five injured and one would forever be a paraplegic. Bitter at God over his wife’s miscarriage, Terri’s son had directed his rage towards these young girls.

What goes through the mind of a mother who finds their child responsible for such a tragedy? How would you react?

Terri went home later that day and collapsed into a fetal position. Her husband buried his head in a towel crying so hard that he injured the skin on his face!

Something happened that night in the Roberts’ home. An Amish neighbor came over to offer his love and comfort. Terri witnessed this “Angel Dressed in Black”—the Amish are known for their customary black clothing—consoling her husband. Their visitor reassuringly said, ‘Roberts, we love you,’ and immediately she knew that her husband would heal.

Bernard Meltzer says, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”

That night Terri Roberts and her husband were introduced to the greatest gift imaginable—forgiveness—the power to live another day!

In 2006 we were conducting meetings in Puerto Rico. One particular medical doctor noticed that his patients were being healed and took great interest in the miracles. Even though he was initially skeptical, he realized our emphasis on people connecting with Jesus would bring freedom from stress, and often people didn’t even recognize they were healed!  God’s peace had entered their spirit, soul and bodies, and with His presence came healing.

This doctor told us that of the female patients he treats, many convince themselves that they are sick. Interestingly, often when running the required tests to identify a problem, he finds nothing. Yet in a matter of a few weeks or months, the same patients will return with evidence of the illnesses they were convinced already existed.

Research shows that DNA actually changes shape according to our thoughts. As you think negative thoughts, toxic thinking re-wires your brain in a negative direction, forcing your mind and body into stress.  On the contrary, every positive thought releases life-giving chemicals.  Imagine what the brain does when you smell a rose or look at a beautiful picture, or when you read the word of God! Jesus is called the “Prince of Peace,” and when an individual receives His life into their spirit His presence fills them—often driving out sicknesses and disease.

On December 7, 1988, an earthquake devastated the northwestern section of Armenia, killing an estimated 25,000 – 50,000 people. After the earthquake, a father rushed to his son’s school only to discover that the school had been flattened. The father remembered dropping off his son earlier that day, and as he did every day he told his son, “No matter what, I’ll always be here for you!”

When the father saw the school he feverishly began removing rubble from where he believed his son’s classroom had been. The other parents were wailing, “My son!” “My daughter!” Some even told the father to go home, that there was no chance any of the students were alive. But the father replied, “I made my son a promise that I’d be there for him anytime he needed me. I must continue to dig.”

Courageously, he proceeded alone. He simply had to know—is my boy alive or is he dead? With seemingly supernatural strength, this father continued to dig…for 8 hours…12 hours…24 hours…36 hours.

Then, in the 38th hour, he heaved away a heavy piece of rubble and heard voices. “Armand!” he screamed. “Dad! It’s me—Armand! I told the other kids not to worry. I told them that if you were alive, you’d save us! Dad, take them out first, I know you’ll be here for me!”

Moments later the father was helping his son Armand and 13 other frightened, hungry, thirsty boys and girls climb out of the debris. How could this happen? When the building collapsed, these children had been spared in a tent-like pocket. When the townspeople praised Armand’s dad, his explanation was, “I promised my son, ‘No matter what, I’ll be there for you!'”

The ancient scriptures say, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Scripture: Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

Today we look at the last of our three Power-Phrases that will help you overcome the obstacles and hindrances you will encounter on the way to realizing your dream.

Power-Phrase #3:  The difference between great and small people is that while all may fall, small people just fall, but great people get up again.

You see, positive thinking is the power to look at your situation and find just one positive aspect, one positive thought that you can hold on to in order to transform your negative situation into an opportunity!

Regardless of what you may face today remember this, never give up! You may be at the end of your rope but remember—one positive thought has the power to loosen the grip of impossibility and propel you forward into possibility!

Have you ever considered how to generate a positive thought? Over the next three days I want to introduce 3 “Power-Phrases” for you to frequently recite. Allow them to fill your sails with the wind of positive expectation!

Power-Phrase #1: Tough times never last, but tough people do. 

This phrase comes from the title of one of over 37 books authored by Dr. Robert Schuller, pioneer of the first televised church service.

Living positive in a negative world, or developing positive–thinking patterns in difficult situations, provides the creative energy and stamina necessary to tackle life’s biggest challenges.

You may be thinking, if you only knew the problems I’m facing!  Well, Dr. Schuller’s family certainly had their own share of problems. His own father, at the age of 60, lost everything when a devastating tornado destroyed their livestock, their crops, their family home and their barn. Nothing was left! Ten farms were utterly destroyed by that storm—only one man rebuilt! http://bit.ly/1Jvt5rc