Psychologist Everett Worthington is an author and a specialist on instructing people in “REACH,” a 5 step process for forgiveness.

Worthington knows something about forgiveness. He experienced the unthinkable when his 78-year-old mother was sexually violated and beaten to death with a crowbar. According to an article published by WWBT in Richmond, Virginia, Worthington states that “this was a particularly horrific scene. One that I just never will forget.”

Adding to his difficulties, Worthington’s brother could not get the image of his mother’s death out of his head, and a few years later he committed suicide. Worthington says not only did he need to forgive his mother’s killer, he also had to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother!

Although I am not a psychologist, I have seen marriages broken by infidelity, restored through forgiveness. I have witnessed criminals find self-forgiveness and the ability to move forward in life, and I have seen the abused released from the horrors of cruelty through forgiveness.

Worthington writes in his book, “Forgiveness and Reconciliation” that he was able to forgive the youths that committed the horrible crime against his mother in just over 30 hours. How? By working through his 5-Step Process which I will outline for you in my next two blogs.

I believe that you can find the power of divine forgiveness! You can accept Jesus’ forgiveness in your life for your own wrong doings, sins and shortcomings!  And you can freely forgive those who have wronged you! Jesus said, ‘There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’

If you are looking for forgiveness today, say this with me: ”Jesus, I believe You forgave me 2,000 years ago. Right now I receive Your forgiveness, and I ask You come into my heart now.”

If you prayed this prayer, I want you to go to our website at www.lesliemcnulty.com and find the tools that we have for you.  Tools that will help you find a life full of love, faith, and hope in the future!

How do we cultivate forgiveness? Renee Napier certainly knows how. Her daughter, Meagan, was a drunken-driver accident victim. Eric Smallridge was intoxicated when the vehicle he was driving struck another, instantly killing Meagan and her friend Lisa, both 20 years old.

Renee knows the incomprehensible grief associated with the sudden loss of a child, and she dedicated her life to preventing more deaths by raising awareness of drunken driving.

She successfully conducted events across Florida, but as she told ABC news,” she kept feeling like something was missing.” She knew if she could involve Eric in her presentations, it would be powerful.

Prior to his prison release Eric was allowed to join Renee in her events. Still wearing his prison uniform he emphatically told people, “Don’t be me! I never intended to be in this uniform! The consequences of my one decision to drive drunk were far too great!”

How does a mother find courage to work with the very man who took her daughter’s life? How could this same person also advocate and obtain an early release for a man who had 10 years left to serve on a 22 year prison sentence for manslaughter? Indira Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

In a Gulf Breeze News interview Napier said: “I could be angry, hateful and bitter, but I didn’t want to live my life that way. There was no way I could move on and live a happy life without forgiving Eric.”

Napier has said that she has grown to love Smallridge and his family and now considers him to be like a son to her. What would you do if you faced this life altering tragedy? Could you forgive this person? Would you forgive this person?  And how do you cultivate forgiveness?

Terri Roberts was sitting on the patio when she heard sirens and helicopters in the distance. As she normally did when she heard the sirens, Terri prayed for the responders and finished her lunch and returned to work. Moments later she received a phone call from her husband. Come to Charlie’s house now.

Driving to her 32 year old son’s house she heard the report of 10 girls shot in the nearby Amish school. When Terri arrived at the house, she saw her husband speaking to a state trooper. Her first question…is Charlie alive? NO.

It was October 2, 2006, Terri’s son had just shot 10 Amish school girls and then took his own life. Five of the girls were dead, five injured and one would forever be a paraplegic. Bitter at God over his wife’s miscarriage, Terri’s son had directed his rage towards these young girls.

What goes through the mind of a mother who finds their child responsible for such a tragedy? How would you react?

Terri went home later that day and collapsed into a fetal position. Her husband buried his head in a towel crying so hard that he injured the skin on his face!

Something happened that night in the Roberts’ home. An Amish neighbor came over to offer his love and comfort. Terri witnessed this “Angel Dressed in Black,” the Amish are known for their customary black clothing, consoling her husband. Their visitor reassuringly said, ‘Roberts, we love you,’ and immediately she knew that her husband would heal.

Bernard Meltzer says, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”

That night Terri Roberts and her husband were introduced to the greatest gift imaginable – forgiveness – the power to live another day!

Time has a way of dimming our expectation and lowering our forecast of good things in the future. God designed prayer to include the expectation of an answer. Jesus often mentions that our Father’s desire is to do good to His children.

In times of delay Jesus mentions to ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened. It is never too late!

When the news came to Jairus that his daughter had died while Jesus was delayed, Jairus was told by Jesus to “only believe.” His daughter will live! Death may be final, but nothing is too late when Jesus is with you!

Jesus needed the faith of Jairus to work with. He knew the bad report would paralyze Jairus as it would us. Grief and sorrow would soon replace faith unless Jesus addressed it. Getting hold of our feelings is important! I believe Jesus was saying to Jairus: “Just stay open to your miracle. Do not shut down. I am bigger than any bad report!”

Friends, never quit and you will never lose!
Scripture: Luke 8:48-50

Face your problems head-on and employ these simple principles of problem-solving in order to cultivate the dream that is in your heart:

First, GET THE FACTS! Ask yourself the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN and WHY questions. What is the problem? Where and when did it begin? Why? How can I find out more? And who cares about this situation?

Second, BE OPEN TO NEW IDEAS! Remove the following phrase from your vocabulary: “we don’t do it that way in our family, community or in our culture!” Reprogram yourself:  Get someone else’s perspective. Get God’s perspective. Do some simple research. It is likely that someone has solved your problem before!

Third, EMPLOY PROBLEM SOLVING TECHNIQUES!  Utilize the P.D.C.A Method – Plan: Identify and analyze the problem. “D,”Do: Develop and test a potential solution. “C,”Check: Measure how effective and how to improve your test solution. “A”, Act: Implement the improved solution.

Fourth, THINK! The importance of using your God-given brain cannot be overemphasized. Regardless of your situation, God has empowered you to THINK! Divinely Inspired Ideas for Life and it’s not just a catchy slogan. It is a principle I live by! …And you CAN TOO!

Fifth, BE PROACTIVE! Don’t spend your time REACTING to problems! Reaction is the easiest emotional response! Power to prevail in life comes when we channel our emotions into true problem-solving. Harness your emotions! A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.  Seek God’s wisdom! “If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him.

Scripture: James 1:5 TLB.

In Jim Stovall’s famous book, “The Ultimate Gift” we read the story of a man striving to make his billions, who at the end of his life, leaves a broken, miserable family that has become accustomed to living on HIS wealth. His only son who possessed a work-hard–help-others attitude, died in a tragic accident. The “Ultimate Gift” was left to THAT son’s son, who was wasting away on his grandfather’s monthly stipend.

What could this ultimate gift be?  All of the family expected it to be money and lots of it!  But the grandson was given an OPPORTUNITY for a journey where he would discover hard work, purpose, friendship, giving and even stewardship!

Receipt of his inheritance would be based upon his ability to rise above the challenge his grandfather had set for him in a series of tests! This young man discovered the ultimate gift was not in HAVING but in GIVING life, working diligently, using his talents and rising to the challenge at hand! Research shows that individuals who know and exercise their character strengths live happier, more successful lives – they have stronger relationships, more engagement at work, and greater life balance.

Is pleasure the key to your happiness? As a child, one of my favorite experiences each fall was to go shopping for clothes! It was a special event. I grew up in a town of 1,100 people, so we had to drive to the city, spend the day shopping, and then we would eat at a restaurant! WOW!  And we did this every school year! It is one of the special yearly memories from my childhood.

Why? I was different as a child and choosing clothes made me feel special.  These clothes provided a confidence to parade about when everyone made fun of me for being so tall and lanky! I clearly recall each year as we headed out, Mother would say to me, “Leslie, as a child I only had one dress for school and church. Your father and I want you to have more than we did as children.”

Yet, more than shopping adventures and new clothes, my family gave me the meaning of life through a solid spiritual foundation – with a clear belief in God. They instilled in me a good education, a strong work ethic, and the importance of integrity. They guided my life with values by which I still live today!

I believe that without that spiritual foundation in my life, I would have been adrift in search of pleasure and happiness. Why? My generation, was (and still is) all about fast cars, big houses, high salaries, media toys and the right family! They are thrill seekers and money masters!

Just recently my husband spent a few hours with Jim Stovall, a Global Entrepreneur, film producer and author of over 20 books. I am sure you would never consider that Mr. Stovall was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease at 17 and was blind by the age of 29.

Jim invented “S.A.P,” a special technology that allows the blind to enjoy major film releases. You see, Jim was an avid movie buff. Losing his sight meant he could no longer enjoy his classic collection. One day he determined that someone should solve this problem, and he created his Emmy Award-winning Narrative TV Network that serves over 13 million blind people each year.

Zig Ziglar, world class motivational speaker of 40 years says, “Happiness is a by-product of who you are and what you do. And yes, you CAN set it as a specific goal.”

Our third power-phrase is this:  The difference between great and small people is that while all may fall, small people just fall but great people get up again.

You see, positive thinking is the power to look at your situation and find just one positive aspect, one positive thought that you can hold on to in order to transform your negative situation into an opportunity!

Regardless of what you may face today remember this, NEVER GIVE UP! You may be at the end of your rope but remember… one positive thought has the power to loosen the grip of impossibility and propel you forward into possibility!