As we talked about yesterday, today we will look at the first two steps toward discovering emotional forgiveness.

Step #1 requires you to RECALL the events and hurt as accurately and objectively as possible. I would liken this to accurate thinking—using our minds, not our emotions, to correctly understand and evaluate.

We don’t need to recall the event just to remember we are a victim or to punish the aggressor with our words. We recall to gain perspective. We can use our intellect to control our emotions, allowing us to control our actions and, ultimately, forgive.

The Bible tells us to “Bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Objectively taking our thoughts captive allows us the power to move forward.

Step # 2 is to EMPATHIZE. Try to understand what happened from the point of view of the person who wronged you. No one would suggest that this is easy, but by considering the motivations or short-comings of the other person, we may be able to replace negative emotions with positive emotions.

Dostoyevsky states, “Nothing is easier than to condemn the evildoer, nothing is harder than to understand him.”

Empathy is the process of putting yourself in the other person’s chair. Worthington, by looking at his mother’s killer as young, reactionary, and out of control, was better able to understand his mother’s senseless tragedy.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Psychologist Everett Worthington is an author and a specialist on instructing people in “REACH,” a 5 step process for forgiveness.

Worthington knows something about forgiveness. He experienced the unthinkable when his 78-year-old mother was sexually violated and beaten to death with a crowbar. According to an article published by WWBT in Richmond, Virginia, Worthington states that “this was a particularly horrific scene. One that I just never will forget.”

Adding to his difficulties, Worthington’s brother could not get the image of his mother’s death out of his head, and a few years later he committed suicide. Worthington says not only did he need to forgive his mother’s killer, he also had to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother!

Although I am not a psychologist, I have seen marriages broken by infidelity, restored through forgiveness. I have witnessed criminals find self-forgiveness and the ability to move forward in life, and I have seen the abused released from the horrors of cruelty through forgiveness.

Worthington writes in his book, “Forgiveness and Reconciliation” that he was able to forgive the youths that committed the horrible crime against his mother in just over 30 hours. How? By working through his 5-Step Process which I will outline for you in my next two blogs.

How do we cultivate forgiveness? Renee Napier certainly knows how. Her daughter, Meagan, was a drunken-driver accident victim. Eric Smallridge was intoxicated when the vehicle he was driving struck another, instantly killing Meagan and her friend Lisa, both 20 years old.

Renee knows the incomprehensible grief associated with the sudden loss of a child, and she dedicated her life to preventing more deaths by raising awareness of drunken driving.

She successfully conducted events across Florida, but as she told ABC news,” she kept feeling like something was missing.” She knew if she could involve Eric in her presentations, it would be powerful.

Prior to his prison release Eric was allowed to join Renee in her events. Still wearing his prison uniform he emphatically told people, “Don’t be me! I never intended to be in this uniform! The consequences of my one decision to drive drunk were far too great!”

How does a mother find courage to work with the very man who took her daughter’s life? How could this same person also advocate and obtain an early release for a man who had 10 years left to serve on a 22 year prison sentence for manslaughter? Indira Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

In a Gulf Breeze News interview Napier said: “I could be angry, hateful and bitter, but I didn’t want to live my life that way. There was no way I could move on and live a happy life without forgiving Eric.”

Napier has said that she has grown to love Smallridge and his family and now considers him to be like a son to her. What would you do if you faced this life altering tragedy? Could you forgive this person? Would you forgive this person?  And how do you cultivate forgiveness?

One of the real challenges that stands as a mountain before a person is the delay of their dreams. It is difficult for people to deal with time, they expect solutions instantly. They want it now, not five minutes from now!

This time expectation is most acute and unique to American society. They are inventors of fast food because it is believed that fast is always better! Now, let me help you understand time. God has no time frame that controls Him. The whole spectrum of time is always laid before Him, so He does not experience time as a limiter.

Faith is what He has given us to enter into the reality that He lives in.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Faith is the quality of a human being that allows us to see and be happy about our answer now. We are not waiting for the physical manifestation to be happy or fulfilled or confident. We enjoy what we believe as if we had the things we believe for already in our possession. What does this do for us?

It puts ETERNITY INTO OUR HEART!

What we have received as our inheritance from God is now ours. Get happy about it and you will see it!

Scripture: Hebrews 11:1

Perhaps today, you are experiencing grief or a sense of loss; I want you to know that God is right there with you! My father and I were very close, and throughout my life he was a voice of wisdom and clarity. I remember him telling me after many years of suffering from debilitating illness, that he was tired and ready to go on to the next life. He had called every family member, making sure that each knew Jesus as their personal Savior. He felt my mother would be ok and could take care of herself.  I remember thinking how odd it was that he was telling me all of this. My father passed away just a few days later.

I don’t know what you are walking through right now, but I do know there is one who will walk with you and give you the hope you need. The scriptures say, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I also recall many weeks later, God opened heaven and I had an awareness of my father smiling and a knowledge that he was in a much better place.  As I spoke to the audience that day, I remember crying great tears of God’s love for the people who were listening…for them to know that they could face anything in life, and even death, if they had a hope in the future!

Have you ever felt discouraged? Have you ever felt unsure of what to do? Are there times you just feel like giving up? Like you’re being thrown into the fire with nowhere to run and no escape?

One of the great stories of scripture talks about three men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who were thrown into a fire for refusing to worship the King’s idols. These three men had been honored and promoted as wise sages throughout Babylonia. Learning of their refusal to bow to his idols, the king offered them a second chance. Again they refused, this time saying, “even if we are thrown into your blazing furnace, oh King, the God we serve will deliver us from your Majesty’s hand.”

Infuriated by their response, the king had the execution fire built 7 times hotter – so hot that as the soldiers approached the furnace to throw in the three bound men, they themselves were burned to death. As the King stared into the furnace, he suddenly shouted – there are four men in the fire, not three – and the fourth looks like an angel of God. At that moment, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego walked from the fire unharmed and without even the smell of smoke on their clothing!

I believe HOPE is a supernatural God-given empowerment. Hope is not just a good feeling; it is a force that produces strength for the journey. You are possibly facing your own fiery challenge or affliction. Hope allows you to turn your trials into smiles.

For nearly a year, Magda Herzberger struggled to survive the daily terrors and psychological torture in three of Adolph Hitler’s concentration camps. According to the Grand Canyon University interview, though forced to “gather corpses,” she resisted the draw of suicide, and relied on God for the hope to outlive the Nazi death machine.

Growing up in the home of a respected international businessman, Magda was exposed to music, sports and languages, learning German, French, and Latin. She was cultivating her dream to go to medical school when the Nazis swept across Romania.

She vividly recalls the day the Hungarian Secret Police knocked at the door and began collecting families at gunpoint. As her family was being trucked away, her father arrived home and willingly joined them. She remembers her father’s warm tears falling on her head, as they were being transported to Aushwitz-Birkenau. She can still hear the dreadful cries and hopeless whispers of strangers packed into train cars without food or even a toilet for the terrifying journey.

Magda said, “Regardless of what I experienced in those camps, and all those terrible things, I’m still a loving and forgiving person.” I would ask, how can it be possible to remain a loving and forgiving person after being kidnapped, tormented, imprisoned and forced to watch mass murder?  As she prayed in her silent moments in the camp, Magda knew in her heart that God could help her make it out alive. She said, “I think my great trust in God was my source of survival.”

What is hope? Hope is the picture of the future or the thing desired. The dictionary says, “it is a wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment.” Robert H. Schuller, said, “Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.”

For Magda, her hope in God, her confidence that He would help her stay strong through the storm, gave her strength for her journey! I want to encourage someone today, DO NOT allow anyone or anything to steal your hope. Magda Herzberger went on to fulfill her dream of becoming a doctor, and today at age 88 she is still sharing her story of hope in the midst of tragedy. You can experience that same hope today!

Did you know that the majority of sickness plaguing the world today results from chronic illness and not infectious disease? Chronic Disease is defined as a long-lasting condition that can be controlled but not cured. Chronic illness is a worldwide problem. As described by the Centers for Disease Control, chronic disease is the leading cause of death and disability in the United States.

Lee Jong-wook, former Director General of the World Health Organization, stated in a 2005 report that of a projected 58 million deaths in 2005, approximately 35 million or 60% would be the result of chronic disease. He also projected those staggering figures to increase by another 17% by the year 2015.

Come to Jesus today and give Him your weaknesses, fears, cares and sicknesses. The scriptures say, “God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.”  Wherever you are today, I want you to know that God is with you—and He hears you right now!

Scriptures: Acts 10:38

In 2006 we were conducting meetings in Puerto Rico. One particular medical doctor noticed that his patients were being healed and took great interest in the miracles. Even though he was initially skeptical, he realized our emphasis on people connecting with Jesus would bring freedom from stress, and often people didn’t even recognize they were healed!  God’s peace had entered their spirit, soul and bodies, and with His presence came healing.

This doctor told us that of the female patients he treats, many convince themselves that they are sick. Interestingly, often when running the required tests to identify a problem, he finds nothing. Yet in a matter of a few weeks or months, the same patients will return with evidence of the illnesses they were convinced already existed.

Research shows that DNA actually changes shape according to our thoughts. As you think negative thoughts, toxic thinking re-wires your brain in a negative direction, forcing your mind and body into stress.  On the contrary, every positive thought releases life-giving chemicals.  Imagine what the brain does when you smell a rose or look at a beautiful picture, or when you read the word of God! Jesus is called the “Prince of Peace,” and when an individual receives His life into their spirit His presence fills them—often driving out sicknesses and disease.

Time has a way of dimming our expectation and lowering our forecast of good things in the future. God designed prayer to include the expectation of an answer. Jesus often mentions that our Father’s desire is to do good to His children.

In times of delay Jesus mentions to ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened. It is never too late!

When the news came to Jairus that his daughter had died while Jesus was delayed, Jairus was told by Jesus to “only believe.” His daughter will live! Death may be final, but nothing is too late when Jesus is with you!

Jesus needed the faith of Jairus to work with. He knew the bad report would paralyze Jairus as it would us. Grief and sorrow would soon replace faith unless Jesus addressed it. Getting hold of our feelings is important! I believe Jesus was saying to Jairus: “Just stay open to your miracle. Do not shut down. I am bigger than any bad report!”

Friends, never quit and you will never lose!
Scripture: Luke 8:48-50