As we talked about in yesterday’s blog, today we will look at the first two steps toward discovering emotional forgiveness.

Step #1 requires you to RECALL the events and hurt as accurately and objectively as possible. I would liken this to accurate thinking—using our minds, not our emotions, to correctly understand and evaluate.

We don’t need to recall the event just to remember we are a victim or to punish the aggressor with our words. We recall to gain perspective. We can use our intellect to control our emotions, allowing us to control our actions and, ultimately, forgive.

The Bible tells us to “Bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Objectively taking our thoughts captive allows us the power to move forward.

Step # 2 is to EMPATHIZE. Try to understand what happened from the point of view of the person who wronged you. No one would suggest that this is easy, but by considering the motivations or short-comings of the other person, we may be able to replace negative emotions with positive emotions.

Dostoyevsky states, “Nothing is easier than to condemn the evildoer, nothing is harder than to understand him.”

Empathy is the process of putting yourself in the other person’s chair. Worthington, by looking at his mother’s killer as young, reactionary, and out of control, was better able to understand his mother’s senseless tragedy.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Psychologist Everett Worthington is an author and a specialist on instructing people in REACH, a 5 step process for forgiveness.

Worthington knows something about forgiveness. He experienced the unthinkable when his 78-year-old mother was sexually violated and beaten to death with a crowbar. According to an article published by WWBT in Richmond, Virginia, Worthington states that “this was a particularly horrific scene. One that I just never will forget.”

Adding to his difficulties, Worthington’s brother could not get the image of his mother’s death out of his head, and a few years later he committed suicide. Worthington says not only did he need to forgive his mother’s killer, he also had to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother!

Although I am not a psychologist, I have seen marriages that were broken by infidelity, restored through forgiveness. I have witnessed criminals find self-forgiveness and the ability to move forward in life, and I have seen the abused released from the horrors of cruelty through forgiveness.

Worthington writes in his book, “Forgiveness and Reconciliation” that he was able to forgive the youths that committed the horrible crime against his mother in just over 30 hours. How? By working through his 5-Step Process which I will outline for you in my next two blogs.

How do we cultivate forgiveness? Renee Napier certainly knows how. Her daughter, Meagan, was a drunken-driver accident victim. Eric Smallridge was intoxicated when the vehicle he was driving struck another, instantly killing Meagan and her friend Lisa, both 20 years old.

Renee knows the incomprehensible grief associated with the sudden loss of a child, and she dedicated her life to preventing more deaths by raising awareness of drunken driving.

She successfully conducted events across Florida, but as she told ABC news,” she kept feeling like something was missing.” She knew if she could involve Eric in her presentations, it would be powerful.

Prior to his prison release Eric was allowed to join Renee in her events. Still wearing his prison uniform he emphatically told people, “Don’t be me! I never intended to be in this uniform! The consequences of my one decision to drive drunk were far too great!”

How does a mother find courage to work with the very man who took her daughter’s life? How could this same person also advocate and obtain an early release for a man who had 10 years left to serve on a 22 year prison sentence for manslaughter? Indira Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

In a Gulf Breeze News interview Napier said: “I could be angry, hateful and bitter, but I didn’t want to live my life that way. There was no way I could move on and live a happy life without forgiving Eric.”

Napier has said that she has grown to love Smallridge and his family and now considers him to be like a son to her. What would you do if you faced this life altering tragedy? Could you forgive this person? Would you forgive this person?  And how do you cultivate forgiveness?

Terri Roberts was sitting on the patio when she heard sirens and helicopters in the distance. As she normally did when she heard sirens, Terri prayed for the responders and finished her lunch and returned to work. Moments later she received a phone call from her husband. Come to Charlie’s house now.

Driving to her 32 year old son’s house she heard the report of 10 girls shot in the nearby Amish school. When Terri arrived at the house, she saw her husband speaking to a state trooper. Her first question…is Charlie alive? No.

It was October 2, 2006.  Terri’s son had just shot 10 Amish school girls and then taken his own life. Five of the girls were dead, five injured and one would forever be a paraplegic. Bitter at God over his wife’s miscarriage, Terri’s son had directed his rage towards these young girls.

What goes through the mind of a mother who finds their child responsible for such a tragedy? How would you react?

Terri went home later that day and collapsed into a fetal position. Her husband buried his head in a towel crying so hard that he injured the skin on his face!

Something happened that night in the Roberts’ home. An Amish neighbor came over to offer his love and comfort. Terri witnessed this “Angel Dressed in Black”—the Amish are known for their customary black clothing—consoling her husband. Their visitor reassuringly said, “Roberts, we love you,” and immediately she knew that her husband would heal.

Bernard Meltzer says, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”

That night Terri Roberts and her husband were introduced to the greatest gift imaginable—forgiveness—the power to live another day!

In 2006 we were conducting meetings in Puerto Rico. One particular medical doctor noticed that his patients were being healed and took great interest in the miracles. Even though he was initially skeptical, he realized our emphasis on people connecting with Jesus would bring freedom from stress, and often people didn’t even recognize they were healed!  God’s peace had entered their spirit, soul and bodies, and with His presence came healing.

This doctor told us that of the female patients he treats, many convince themselves that they are sick. Interestingly, often when running the required tests to identify a problem, he finds nothing. Yet in a matter of a few weeks or months, the same patients will return with evidence of the illnesses they were convinced already existed.

Research shows that DNA actually changes shape according to our thoughts. As you think negative thoughts, toxic thinking re-wires your brain in a negative direction, forcing your mind and body into stress.  On the contrary, every positive thought releases life-giving chemicals.  Imagine what the brain does when you smell a rose or look at a beautiful picture, or when you read the word of God! Jesus is called the “Prince of Peace,” and when an individual receives His life into their spirit His presence fills them—often driving out sicknesses and disease.

Did you know that the majority of sickness plaguing the world today results from chronic illness and not infectious disease? Chronic Disease is defined as a long-lasting condition that can be controlled but not cured. Chronic illness is a worldwide problem. As described by the Centers for Disease Control, chronic disease is the leading cause of death and disability in the United States.

Lee Jong-Wook, former Director General of the World Health Organization, stated in a 2005 report that of a projected 58 million deaths in 2005, approximately 35 million or 60% would be the result of chronic disease. He also projected those staggering figures to increase by another 17% by the year 2015.

Come to Jesus today and give Him your weaknesses, fears, cares and sicknesses. The scriptures say, “God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.”  Wherever you are today, I want you to know that God is with you—and He hears you right now!

Scriptures: Acts 10:38

A woman from Congo-Brazzaville was plagued by severe migraines. On the day she attended one of our public meetings, a rain storm suddenly rolled in. While most of the crowd fled for cover, this woman pushed closer to the platform, refusing to leave.

My husband, who was speaking at the time, made the decision to continue solely because of her. After the meeting this woman couldn’t wait to talk to us. She said, ”With each rain drop that fell tonight the pain lessened in my head. I was desperate! I could not go on living this way any longer. When the rain came down it was like a cool, healing balm from heaven. The pain, fear and depression all vanished. I was going to take my life tonight if the pain did not leave!”

Though plagued by a chronic condition, this woman instantly found new life! What did she do? She brought her problem to Jesus. She was determined to get her healing. Like the woman in scripture with the chronic blood disease, she said to herself she was going to get what she needed! Jesus said “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Scripture: Matt 11:28 (NIV)

The scriptures tell us of a woman who was stigmatized by a chronic illness for 12 years. Spending all of her money seeking medical solutions, she only grew worse.

Evidently she heard about Jesus’ miracles and made a bold decision—despite public opinion. She repeated to herself, If I only touch His garment, I will get well. Though crowded on all sides, Jesus knew someone had touched Him expecting to be healed. Turning immediately to the woman, He said, “Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well.”

This woman faced significant stress in life. She had spent all of her money, was ostracized by the public, and was critically ill. Yet, her thoughts led her toward healing! Her thinking gave her the strength to break out of her normal routine and find what she needed!  She determined to press through the negative obstacles and reach out to Jesus for her miracle. I want you to know that you can do the same today!

Scripture: Matthew 9:20-22 (paraphrased)

I remember receiving a wonderful testimony from a young man whose wife was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Three hospitals had confirmed this diagnosis.

When he told me the report I remember thinking—this is our partner! Jesus died for this family! This report does not have a right to stand in the face of God’s report—which is, by His stripes we are healed!

I remember saying to this young man, “We are not going to allow this! Ultimately, you have the final authority over this sickness and disease. God loves you too much for your wife to suffer this way and not be able to take care of your wonderful children!”

Our prayer was simple. I led him in confession of Jesus as Savior and Healer. In great humility he submitted his family and this situation to the promises of God.

I understand that today, these same three hospitals cannot find the existence of the MS! It is a MIRACLE! Only God can do these marvelous things—and only when we submit to His Word—His truth!  Dare to believe! GOD IS GOOD!

Scripture: Isaiah 53:5, 1 Peter 2:24

A few years ago I was speaking in Northern Argentina and I met a young woman who wanted to be well. She said to me, “I came to this meeting tonight for healing! I know I received my miracle but I don’t want to tell anyone until I’ve returned to the doctor.”

She was just a teenager and I remember wondering what could be wrong with this beautiful young girl? A few days later she found me after I spoke, and this time she was carrying a large brown envelope and smiling from ear to ear!

She had returned to her doctor that day, and he immediately reminded her that she should give up any hope of ever being a mother.  Later, after looking at her x-rays he exclaimed, “I never would believe this if I wasn’t looking at these x-rays, because I am the one who removed your ovaries and the cyst that had exploded! You now have two normal, healthy ovaries! There is no reason why you can’t be a mother!”  He was astonished, and she was so excited because her dream was to be a momma!

She said, “Leslie, I knew God healed me last night! I just wanted proof so no one could deny what God had done for me!”