As a young person, I faced relentless teasing for my size, name and abilities. No one seemed to understand, not even my mother. One time I remember my mother saying, “Leslie you are beautiful and gifted, what are you so upset about? Straighten up!” Those words, although intended to bring peace, only drove my shame deeper and placed an unseen wedge in my heart.

Several years later I realized that whenever I was in my mother’s house, we would automatically disagree and sometimes argue. There was no one else in the world I loved more at that time and yet we could not dwell in peace. I wanted help. My friend suggested that I ask God to forgive me for judging my mother and, if possible, seek my mother’s forgiveness. When I asked my mother to forgive me for not being the daughter I should have been, I remember her response. She said, “Leslie, you’re my daughter. Forgive you for what? I love you.”

My mother had no memory of any wrong, which is often the case, and the reason we must learn to guard our hearts. Because as the Proverb says, the issues of life flow out of the heart. My release did not come in knowing that my mother understood. My release came when I understood I was forgiven by God and I had forgiven both my mother and myself.

Have you ever considered the dominant role an unforgiving spirit can play in your life? You might wonder, what is an unforgiving spirit?

Virginia Whitman relates an incident that occurred several years ago at Fairfax Airport in Kansas City where workers were constructing a proposed electrically perfect room.  This room was designed to provide technicians a work environment free of any electrical interference.  To make this possible, special construction techniques were employed. When the job was complete, however, a special electronic “reading” revealed a small amount of electrical conduction.  After hours of searching, testing, and measuring, the trouble was discovered.  The culprit was the lead pencil marks on the lumber used by the carpenters.

What is an unforgiving spirit?  It is the unseen pencil mark on the soul, breaking our connections with other people and affecting all of our relationships.  Initially difficult to identify, an unforgiving spirit is developed over time, due to an inability to deal properly with shame, offenses, and even a pain suffered.

Is there a door to the heart that is the source of an unforgiving spirit?  The seeds of an unforgiving spirit are planted when we are wronged in some way.  Often, the first hurt we experience may begin as a child; unknowingly inflicted by those we love the most.

Perhaps you can think of someone that you have wronged? Or perhaps someone has wronged you? If you have not allowed yourself to forgive you may be affecting your health! Are you an angry person? Have you considered the negative impact anger has on your health?  According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, when you’re chronically angry you’re in a fight-or-flight mode—which can have effects on blood pressure and heart rate.

Forgiveness can get you out of the anger mode and eliminate harmful toxins that may be damaging your body. When you learn to forgive, your heart will thank you—because forgiveness has been shown to lower blood pressure.  A 2011 study of married couples in the journal of Personal Relationships, showed that when the victim in the situation forgave the other person, both experienced a decrease in blood pressure.

In 1988, an earthquake devastated the northwestern section of Armenia, killing an estimated 25,000 people. After the earthquake, a father rushed to his son’s school only to discover that the school had been flattened. The father remembered dropping off his son earlier that day, and as he did every day he told his son, “No matter what, I’ll always be here for you!”

When the father saw the school he feverishly began removing rubble from where he believed his son’s classroom had been. The other parents were wailing, “My son!” “My daughter!” Some even told the father to go home, that there was no chance any of the students were alive. But the father replied, “I made my son a promise that I’d be there for him anytime he needed me. I must continue to dig.”

Courageously, he proceeded alone. He simply had to know: is my boy alive or is he dead? With seemingly supernatural strength, this father continued to dig…for 8 hours…12 hours…24 hours…36 hours.

Then, in the 38th hour, he heaved away a heavy piece of rubble and heard voices. “Armand!” he screamed. “Dad! It’s me…Armand! I told the other kids not to worry. I told them that if you were alive, you’d save us! Dad, take them out first, I know you’ll be here for me!”

Moments later the father was helping his son Armand and 13 other frightened, hungry, thirsty boys and girls climb out of the debris. How could this happen? When the building collapsed, these children had been spared in a tent-like pocket. When the townspeople praised Armand’s dad, his explanation was, “I promised my son, ‘No matter what, I’ll be there for you!'”

“A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” – Elbert Hubbard

The author of this phrase, Elbert Hubbard, also wrote a story about Ida Straus, and her death on the Titanic. As a woman she was supposed to be placed on a lifeboat before any of the men, but she refused to board the boat: “Not I!” She said, “I will not leave my husband. All these years we’ve traveled together, and shall we part now? No!” she said, “Our fate is one.”  Hubbard then added his own stirring commentary:

“Mr. and Mrs. Straus, I envy you that legacy of love and loyalty left to your children and grandchildren. The calm courage that was yours all your long and useful career was your possession in death. You knew how to do three great things—you knew how to live, how to love and how to die.”

Ask yourself these three simple questions: Have I discovered the key to a full life? Have I learned to love with a full heart? What will I do when one day I face death? These questions, as simple as they may appear, lie at the core of a meaningful life!  http://bit.ly/1FMgClw