Perhaps you can think of someone that you have wronged? Or perhaps someone has wronged you? If you have not allowed yourself to forgive you may be affecting your health! Are you an angry person? Have you considered the negative impact anger has on your health?  According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, when you’re chronically angry you’re in a fight-or-flight mode—which can have effects on blood pressure and heart rate.

Forgiveness can get you out of the anger mode and eliminate harmful toxins that may be damaging your body. When you learn to forgive, your heart will thank you—because forgiveness has been shown to lower blood pressure.  A 2011 study of married couples in the Journal of Personal Relationships, showed that when the victim in the situation forgave the other person, both experienced a decrease in blood pressure.

Today we continue with the last three steps toward discovering emotional forgiveness.

Step # 3 is to become altruistic, or selfless, by giving the gift of forgiveness. Jesus Christ gave the greatest gift of forgiveness when He took our transgressions upon His body and died for us! He did nothing wrong, but God so loved us that He sent His Son to pay the price for our sin.

Christ’s words spoken on the cross ring out through eternity, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” Isn’t this ultimately the voice of unconditional forgiveness, and doesn’t this give us the power to forgive?  Sometimes in order to offer the gift of forgiveness we must remember or value an instance when someone else forgave us.

Step #4 Once you make the decision to offer the gift of forgiveness, Worthington suggests committing to public forgiveness. This can be done through writing in a journal, telling a friend, creating a certificate of forgiveness or even telling the individual that wronged you.

Step #5 is to hold on to forgiveness. Psychologists say that forgiveness is not forgetting, but rather, forgiveness is a decision. Memories of the wrong incurred and the associated negative feelings will arise, but hold on to forgiveness! Remind yourself that you made a decision to forgive!

Scripture:  Luke 23:34

As we talked about in yesterday’s blog, today we will look at the first two steps toward discovering emotional forgiveness.

Step #1 requires you to RECALL the events and hurt as accurately and objectively as possible. I would liken this to accurate thinking—using our minds, not our emotions, to correctly understand and evaluate.

We don’t need to recall the event just to remember we are a victim or to punish the aggressor with our words. We recall to gain perspective. We can use our intellect to control our emotions, allowing us to control our actions and, ultimately, forgive.

The Bible tells us to “Bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Objectively taking our thoughts captive allows us the power to move forward.

Step # 2 is to EMPATHIZE. Try to understand what happened from the point of view of the person who wronged you. No one would suggest that this is easy, but by considering the motivations or short-comings of the other person, we may be able to replace negative emotions with positive emotions.

Dostoyevsky states, “Nothing is easier than to condemn the evildoer, nothing is harder than to understand him.”

Empathy is the process of putting yourself in the other person’s chair. Worthington, by looking at his mother’s killer as young, reactionary, and out of control, was better able to understand his mother’s senseless tragedy.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Psychologist Everett Worthington is an author and a specialist on instructing people in REACH, a 5 step process for forgiveness.

Worthington knows something about forgiveness. He experienced the unthinkable when his 78-year-old mother was sexually violated and beaten to death with a crowbar. According to an article published by WWBT in Richmond, Virginia, Worthington states that “this was a particularly horrific scene. One that I just never will forget.”

Adding to his difficulties, Worthington’s brother could not get the image of his mother’s death out of his head, and a few years later he committed suicide. Worthington says not only did he need to forgive his mother’s killer, he also had to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother!

Although I am not a psychologist, I have seen marriages that were broken by infidelity, restored through forgiveness. I have witnessed criminals find self-forgiveness and the ability to move forward in life, and I have seen the abused released from the horrors of cruelty through forgiveness.

Worthington writes in his book, “Forgiveness and Reconciliation” that he was able to forgive the youths that committed the horrible crime against his mother in just over 30 hours. How? By working through his 5-Step Process which I will outline for you in my next two blogs.

How do we cultivate forgiveness? Renee Napier certainly knows how. Her daughter, Meagan, was a drunken-driver accident victim. Eric Smallridge was intoxicated when the vehicle he was driving struck another, instantly killing Meagan and her friend Lisa, both 20 years old.

Renee knows the incomprehensible grief associated with the sudden loss of a child, and she dedicated her life to preventing more deaths by raising awareness of drunken driving.

She successfully conducted events across Florida, but as she told ABC news,” she kept feeling like something was missing.” She knew if she could involve Eric in her presentations, it would be powerful.

Prior to his prison release Eric was allowed to join Renee in her events. Still wearing his prison uniform he emphatically told people, “Don’t be me! I never intended to be in this uniform! The consequences of my one decision to drive drunk were far too great!”

How does a mother find courage to work with the very man who took her daughter’s life? How could this same person also advocate and obtain an early release for a man who had 10 years left to serve on a 22 year prison sentence for manslaughter? Indira Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

In a Gulf Breeze News interview Napier said: “I could be angry, hateful and bitter, but I didn’t want to live my life that way. There was no way I could move on and live a happy life without forgiving Eric.”

Napier has said that she has grown to love Smallridge and his family and now considers him to be like a son to her. What would you do if you faced this life altering tragedy? Could you forgive this person? Would you forgive this person?  And how do you cultivate forgiveness?

Terri Roberts was sitting on the patio when she heard sirens and helicopters in the distance. As she normally did when she heard sirens, Terri prayed for the responders and finished her lunch and returned to work. Moments later she received a phone call from her husband. Come to Charlie’s house now.

Driving to her 32 year old son’s house she heard the report of 10 girls shot in the nearby Amish school. When Terri arrived at the house, she saw her husband speaking to a state trooper. Her first question…is Charlie alive? No.

It was October 2, 2006.  Terri’s son had just shot 10 Amish school girls and then taken his own life. Five of the girls were dead, five injured and one would forever be a paraplegic. Bitter at God over his wife’s miscarriage, Terri’s son had directed his rage towards these young girls.

What goes through the mind of a mother who finds their child responsible for such a tragedy? How would you react?

Terri went home later that day and collapsed into a fetal position. Her husband buried his head in a towel crying so hard that he injured the skin on his face!

Something happened that night in the Roberts’ home. An Amish neighbor came over to offer his love and comfort. Terri witnessed this “Angel Dressed in Black”—the Amish are known for their customary black clothing—consoling her husband. Their visitor reassuringly said, “Roberts, we love you,” and immediately she knew that her husband would heal.

Bernard Meltzer says, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”

That night Terri Roberts and her husband were introduced to the greatest gift imaginable—forgiveness—the power to live another day!

As a young businesswoman, I remember sitting at my desk after having just received accolades for a very successful business deal that people of my age seldom experienced.

The president of the bank and my peers thought it was amazing, yet I sat there thinking, “I’ve obtained what people seek after for years…but is this what I want to do with the rest of my life?

As I was pondering this decision the phone rang. It was a local Pastor calling, and I remember telling him, “Funny you should call right now…I am pondering what to do with the rest of my life.” I recall his words so clearly.  He simply said, “Let peace be the umpire of your heart.”

Hanging up the phone, I leaned back and thought, “Stay here? For the rest of my life?” NO joy, NO Peace! And in that moment I decided to pursue a second career. Perhaps today, you need courage to follow your heart.

Consider this: My mother-in-law always said, work at your career for 5 years, if you find yourself bored, then do something else. Her observation: boredom was the great thief of happiness. Life is too short to be bored!

Recently a leading global medical research institute listed the following benefits that can be attributed to positive thinking:

• Lower rates of depression
• Longer life expectancy
• Increased resistance to the common cold
• Lower risk of heart disease and related death
• Better overall psychological health
• Lower stress levels
• Better stress management and coping skills
• Increased physical well-being

These facts alone should enthuse you about the real life benefits of thinking positively. One positive thought can indeed cultivate the dream that is in your heart!  http://bit.ly/1FcdCOj

I’d like to share a story with you about a man from the Congo who was only one step away from a very tragic decision in his life. However, in just a matter of moments his world was changed instantly.

How? He heard words. Simple words of Good News opened the door to a new world. Do you need doors opened in your life? Today is your day!

In one of our meetings in the Congo, a young father was distraught and very upset about how life had treated him. I don’t know what situation you are facing—maybe you find yourself like this young father.

He had just purchased poison at a local pharmacy and was on his way home to take his and his family’s lives that night. As he walked, he heard words in the distance over loud speakers and decided to see what was happening. As he listened, he heard a new idea. The words began to penetrate his heart, and he had an overwhelming sense of God’s love and presence.

This young father later made his way to the platform to tell the audience what had happened. He stood weeping before 100,000 people, telling them the evil he had planned and how God had freed him and forgiven him. Suddenly, the crowd began to part as a woman with several children made her way to the platform. She was crying and shouting, “Honey, honey! We are here too!”

The couple embraced on the platform, forgave each other and committed their lives to the LORD. In an instant the question of who God is was answered—God is love! He is forgiveness, peace and restoration!

Do you need God’s presence? We have seen Him touch the masses around the world. Jesus is here for you right now. Wherever you are, just stop and turn your thoughts to God. He loves you. He believes in you. And today, He offers you forgiveness!

According to Dr. Bruce Lipton, the vast majority of the world’s population comes into this world with genes that should enable them to live a happy and healthy life. He says a staggering 98% of diseases are due to lifestyle choices and therefore they are related to our thinking.

It has been estimated that 75 to 90% of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress related problems. So what is the stress that I speak of? Could it be distress in the mind—a mind filled with a continuous stream of worries, fears and distorted perceptions, all of which trigger degenerative processes throughout the mind and the body?

Well, today I want to offer YOU a choice for peace in your mind and freedom of disease in your body. Christ is the solution to your cares. He offers a way out of stress by simply calling on His name. Today, Jesus offers you friendship with God, peace for your mind and ultimately health for your soul and body. Wherever you are, simply pray, “Jesus, I choose You! Be my friend today!”

If you’d like more help, more information on healing, or someone to pray with you, please contact us today. We are waiting to hear from you. http://bit.ly/1gmsroF