Our own words will either justify or condemn us—so it really does matter what we say! An old friend of my family’s—a hard-drinking, cursing man almost all his life—experienced Christ gloriously in a church service and had a spiritual new birth. He was so sensitive to the presence of Jesus within him that when he tried to speak, all he could do was nod his head, because his whole vocabulary consisted of curse words. It took him six months before he could say a sentence without cursing!

We must be sensitive to what we are saying. Jesus said we bring up blessings or curses from our heart and release them with our words. People want to speak their minds. That’s a good thing unless what’s in their minds does not match up with their place in God’s kingdom, their rights as God’s children, their privileges as members of God’s family, or their love dominion based on their legal standing with God.

They talk as if they’re not redeemed. They talk as if they’re not free from the curse of death and the fear of injury, sickness, accidents, plagues, and evil men that bring death. Don’t waste your precious gift of speech by declaring that you are in agreement with evil, failure, depression, sickness, or fear!

When we get to heaven we will see things as they really are. Right now we must evaluate through many different lenses what we think we are seeing. If we’re wise we will strive to get the eternal picture so we can live in the present with a proper perspective.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”   1 Corinthians 13:12

Life began in the embryo. For 9 months that was your world. Some people probably spent all their time in the embryo trying to keep it clean and orderly. Others just thought life was an entitlement of free food and a warm bed where they could go to the gym and kick and punch all day long with no rules!

Then one day life changed dramatically and you popped out into a whole new atmosphere. You no longer were top dog and king of the hill. Now you were low on the totem pole and had to scream to get some attention. You looked back and realized you had life all wrong. You had to adjust your thinking of what life really was like.

In the same manner, soon you are going to pop out of this earth suit you are wearing into another totally different environment where real life begins. Eternal life.

That day is coming. Prepare for it. The manual for real success in the next life is in the Book!

The wonderful facts of Christianity raise us from nobody to somebody, from simple to wise, from weak to courageous. These unmatched facts become living realities in a person when that person hears and chooses to believe them. What makes us like God and not like robots, is our ability to choose!

We can choose to see wonderful days ahead. We can choose to expect good favor coming our way. We can choose to anticipate everything lining up in our lives as we rejoice in our Maker.

The alternative is to live in fear. We can choose to fear that the economy will go down and take us with it. We can choose to fear that the doctor’s reports of cancer, heart disease, or a thousand other diagnoses are the final word. We can choose to fear tomorrow and fold up.

Or, we can spread our wings of faith and exclaim that everything will work out! The facts of our faith put us in the realm of God. Jesus said, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:23).

I remember an experience with a new roommate in college. We went to the local shopping center for lunch, and as we were walking through the long corridors, my roommate suddenly began having a panic attack. She fearfully repeated, “Leslie, Leslie – why are all these people staring at me? What’s wrong with me??” At first I didn’t understand what she was saying, and frankly, I didn’t even notice! Then it dawned on me, they weren’t staring at her. I told her to walk several steps behind me and see what happened. She was so relieved to see nothing was wrong with her, and that they were actually staring at me!

I have spent my life being the tallest person in a classroom, on a basketball team, in a restaurant, at my office, or just about anywhere. Recently, I remember stopping for the day in Mumbai. As we enjoyed the sights, people began following me, wanting to take pictures with me. Small groups of young people, women with children and entire families kept gathering around me for pictures! I didn’t know what to think…I’m tall? I’m unique? Do they think they recognize me? I finally realized I wasn’t going to see any sights, so I just decided to enjoy the people!

Have you ever felt self-conscious? Have you ever wondered if the whole world is staring at you? I have. According to Psychology Today, self-consciousness keeps us fighting the battle to control our self-image. But obsessing over our shortcomings inevitably traps us in embarrassment and shame.

How do we rise above self-consciousness and triumph in life? First, contrast self-consciousness with self-worth. Self-consciousness is an awareness of differences and shortcomings compared to others. Self-worth is built upon an internal perspective of ourselves. It is discovery of our intrinsic value, lived out through our dreams of the future. The dictionary states self-worth is the sense of one’s own value as a person. It is self-esteem or self-respect.

Self-worth can find its basis in biblical truth by knowing that we are created in God’s image; by understanding that we are wonderfully made; by realizing that our lives were written in God’s book before we were born!  This Creator has chosen to live in the hearts of people! You can identify with Him today! How? By simply calling upon His name! God in heaven, Who revealed Himself to us through His Son Jesus is waiting right now for you to call upon Him! Why wait? Call on Him now!

Today we complete your toolbox with the final tool to help you on your journey to realizing your goals and aspirations with confidence!

Tool #3: Track Your Progress!

Journal writing is one of the best tools for organizing mental clutter, by capturing thoughts and emotions in writing. After my mentor’s wife of 53 years passed away, he began documenting their life together and the “Why?” behind her early demise. “When I finished writing this book,” he said, “I knew I was ready to move forward. I was healed.”

You can create different journals for different parts of your journey. One may be for personal healing and insight, while another may be an “idea journal” reserved for capturing inspiration.

How do you use an idea journal? Keep a small notebook in your purse or pocket and jot down your ideas throughout the day. Often during quiet moments of reflection, you’ll find your written ideas weave an interesting tapestry.

Early morning is another vital time for journaling your thoughts! Keep a notepad by your bed—I like to call mine my morning ‘think-pad.’ Glean these early thoughts before a child or a morning hello interrupts your clarity. Never minimize the importance of capturing these early thoughts! Your heart and mind are working while you sleep, planning life’s journey! Start each day with your idea journal, capturing your morning revelation.

If you need to simplify, an electronic journal, cellphone or voice recorder can help you record your fresh ideas and the answers to your soul-searching questions!

As a young person, I faced relentless teasing for my size, name and abilities. No one seemed to understand, not even my mother. I remember her saying to me, “Leslie you are beautiful and gifted, what are you so upset about? Straighten up!” Those words, although intended to bring peace, only drove my shame deeper and placed an unseen wedge in my heart.

Several years later I realized that whenever I was in my mother’s house, we would automatically disagree and sometimes argue. There was no one else in the world I loved more at that time and yet we could not dwell in peace. I wanted help. My friend suggested that I ask God to forgive me for judging my mother and, if possible, seek my mother’s forgiveness. When I asked my mother to forgive me for not being the daughter I should have been, I remember her response. She said, “Leslie, you’re my daughter. Forgive you for what? I love you!”

My mother had no memory of any wrong, which is often the case, and the reason we must learn to guard our hearts. Because as the Proverb says, the issues of life flow out of the heart. My release did not come in knowing that my mother understood. My release came when I understood I was forgiven by God and I had forgiven both my mother and myself.

Have you ever considered the dominant role an unforgiving spirit can play in your life? You might wonder, what is an unforgiving spirit?

Virginia Whitman relates an incident that occurred several years ago at Fairfax Airport in Kansas City, where workers were constructing a proposed electrically ‘perfect’ room.  This room was designed to provide technicians a work environment free of any electrical interference.  To make this possible, special construction techniques were employed. When the job was complete, however, a special electronic “reading” revealed a small amount of electrical conduction.  After hours of searching, testing, and measuring, the trouble was discovered.  The culprit was the lead pencil marks on the lumber used by the carpenters.

What is an unforgiving spirit?  It is the unseen pencil mark on the soul, breaking our connections with other people and affecting all of our relationships.  Initially difficult to identify, an unforgiving spirit is developed over time, due to an inability to deal properly with shame, offenses, and even a pain suffered.

Is there a door to the heart that is the source of an unforgiving spirit?  The seeds of an unforgiving spirit are planted when we are wronged in some way.  Often, the first hurt we experience may begin as a child; unknowingly inflicted by those we love the most.

Today I am sharing the last two tips that will help you take control of your thoughts and attitudes: 

Third, Overcome Unrealistic Expectations.  Do you avoid reality? Are you so busy talking the “big idea” that you’ve forgotten to address life’s daily routines? I believe in the power of a positive attitude. But I also know a positive attitude does not deny reality, it simply gives us the ability to deal with reality!

Remember: Unfulfilled expectations are a leading cause of discouragement!  True personal success is found when expectation meets accomplishment! Proverbs 13:12 says, “a fulfilled desire is a tree of life!” Ask yourself: Are my expectations realistic? If not, evaluate and revise your plans!

Fourth, Learn to Laugh At Yourself!  Don’t take yourself too seriously! While you’re developing the strategy for humanity’s next great invention, take some time and laugh! Laughter has the ability to reduce stress and provide a feeling of wellness.  Laughter helps boost self-confidence. It encourages healthy relationships and eliminates feelings of aggression, jealousy and antagonism.

My husband is a natural comedian! Or so he thinks—we often get the most enjoyment watching him laugh at his own jokes! Enjoy life! Become your own comedian and learn to smile at your mistakes!  If you have trouble laughing at yourself, take some time and watch children! They laugh at everything! Or simply buy a joke book and laugh at someone else! 

The point? Start laughing! It will do you good!

Here are my first two tips to help you evaluate your behavior patterns and begin taking control of your thoughts and attitudes:

#1 – Don’t Play the Blame Game.  I learned long ago that if someone is accusing you of being the problem, it’s often their shame speaking so don’t buy into it. I also learned that if everyone is offering you the same criticism, it’s time to drop the defenses, listen and learn!

Excuses and defensive behavior are often coping mechanisms we develop to avoid real issues. You can take responsibility for your thoughts and therefore take responsibility for your actions! How do you begin? Identify 3 areas of life where it is time to stop making excuses! 

#2 – Identify Negative Cycles.  Do you find yourself constantly repeating the same negative behaviors? Have you asked yourself why? Repetitive cycles are often the result of unresolved issues or judgments toward ourselves or others.

For example, you might say, “My mother was an alcoholic, I will never be like her!” Yet, you find yourself adopting her behaviors! Through forgiveness, you free yourself of pain, anger and judgments, and you shift your focus from yesterday’s hurt to today’s possibility!

You might ask, how do I forgive? We have a model for forgiveness—Christ, who lived a sinless life and chose to forgive those who sinned against Him. Accept His forgiveness and discover its great power!   Ask yourself: Do I have repetitive negative behaviors that require forgiveness? Write them down and start forgiving today!