Here are my first two tips to help you evaluate your behavior patterns and begin taking control of your thoughts and attitudes:

#1 –  Don’t Play the Blame Game.  I learned long ago that if someone is accusing you of being the problem, it’s often their shame speaking so don’t buy into it. I also learned that if everyone is offering you the same criticism, it’s time to drop the defenses, listen and learn!

Excuses and defensive behavior are often coping mechanisms we develop to avoid real issues. You can take responsibility for your thoughts and therefore take responsibility for your actions! How do you begin? Identify 3 areas of life where it is time to stop making excuses! 

#2 –  Identify Negative Cycles.  Do you find yourself constantly repeating the same negative behaviors? Have you asked yourself why? Repetitive cycles are often the result of unresolved issues or judgments toward ourselves or others.

For example, you might say, “My mother was an alcoholic, I will never be like her!” Yet, you find yourself adopting her behaviors! Through forgiveness, you free yourself of pain, anger and judgments, and you shift your focus from yesterday’s hurt to today’s possibility!

You might ask, how do I forgive? We have a model for forgiveness—Christ, who lived a sinless life and chose to forgive those who sinned against Him. Accept His forgiveness and discover its great power!   Ask yourself: Do I have repetitive negative behaviors that require forgiveness? Write them down and start forgiving today!